The major indicator of a self-worth wound is a tendency to become emotionally hooked on people who display less interest in us than we feel for them.
Another indicator is taking umbrage when someone expresses a lack of trust, belief or confidence in us.
Now you might find yourself thinking that these two indicators are common to everyone, and they probably are to a greater or lesser degree. But that doesn’t mean that a self-worth wound does not involve hard suffering, nor does it mean that we must continue suffering.
We tend to feel a lack of worthiness in response to something else that we believe we lack. It may be a lack of money. It may be a lack of thick wavy hair. It may be a lack of world travel experiences. It may be a lack of formal education. It may be the lack of a loving mate.
To gain freedom from the pain of lacking self-worth we strive to fill the void by getting that “something else” that we feel to be lacking. If we feel unworthy because of our lack of finances, we seek more money. If we feel unworthy because of too much clutter in our basement, we struggle (in vain) to organize the basement.
The problem here is that seeking freedom from the pain of low self-worth by fixing an external condition is like trying to ease the pain of your hunger by feeding someone else. The more you do this the hungrier you become!
The lack of self-worth is what blocks us from receiving or achieving what we believe we need to feel better about ourselves. This is because we reject what we feel undeserving of. This is why seeking another’s approval from a lack of self-approval actually repels that other person. On an inner level the person doing the seeking is sending a signal that says, “I am not worthy of you.”
So the more you try to dig yourself out of the hole of low self-worth by solving another problem in your life, the deeper you dig yourself into that hole, and the more that problem seems to spiral out of your control.
So what is the solution? It begins with self-awareness.
Many of us have self-worth issues without realizing it. We seek love from unavailable people or consistently fall short of our goals and presume that our problems start and end there. But the cause of those problems is a deep, underlying belief in a lack of worthiness.
By paying close attention to how you feel, particularly when you feel frustrated or unhappy, underlying feelings come up to the surface and you can recognize them for what they really are.
When you recognize that the feeling of wounded self-worth is your real issue, solving that problem begins.
The next step is to let yourself feel all of the pain of that wound, while resisting the urge to seek, fix or create an external conditions to end it.
If you feel a lack of self-worth because of your low net-worth, for example, don’t desperately go after more money to free you of your pain.
If you feel low self-worth because you find yourself strolling alone on a lovely evening, surrounded by couples in love, don’t go seeking a relationship to sooth your inner emptiness.
If you feel badly because you cannot seem to satisfy or please someone that you care about, resist the urge to criticize that person as difficult, or to push yourself harder to placate that person.
Instead, let yourself feel the pain you are feeling until you recognize the pain of low self-worth at its core.
The next step is to surrender. Surrender from the effort of trying to prove yourself. Give it up. Accept the limits of your power and trust the greater Power that is in charge. Surrender from the effort to fix, improve, change or control your life. When you surrender in this way, you allow yourself to feel free, relaxed and in harmony with who you really are. As this happen, you enter harmony with the way that life really is. Instead of struggling against life and against yourself to prove your worth, allow yourself to simply be yourself, and allow life and the universe to be what they are, trusting that.
As you do this, your natural love of being you will arise to fill your heart with joy.
The love of being you is the cure for low self-worth. You can experience it by allowing yourself to live in a harmonious feeling state, regardless of your circumstances, your own past behaviors or the behaviors of other people.
This lovely state of harmony then naturally causes your circumstances and relationships to settle into a harmony with you. Things just seem to work out well for you. The better you feel being you, the better everything turns out for you.
The wound of low self-worth is essentially a result of not letting yourself be in a state of natural harmony. As you drop self-punishing efforts to prove your worth, your wound heals.
If you find this process difficult to put into practice, The Method is a great way to make it easy and accessible. Using The Method enables you to recognize the emotional programming that became your low self-worth wound in the first place, and then frees you to experience pure self-harmony in a matter of minutes.
Contact me to schedule a time for your demonstration of The Method to help you experience the liberation of your joy and real love of being you. The session lasts around 20 minutes and results are immediate.